四级作文课堂辅导教案.docx

四级作文课堂辅导教案
一、作文评分标准
1.本题满分为15分。
2.阅卷标准共分五等:2分、5分、8分、11分与14分。各有标准样卷1至2份。
3.阅卷人员根据阅卷标准，对照样卷评分，若认为与某一分数（如8分）相似，即定为该分数（即8分）;若认为稍优或稍劣于该分数，则可加1分（即9分）或减1分（即7分）。但不得加或减半分。
4.评分标准:
2分—条理不清，思路紊乱，语言支离破碎或大部分句子均有错误，且多数为严重错误。一塌糊涂
5分—基本切题。表达思路不清楚，连贯性差。有较多的严重语言错误。糊里糊涂
8分—基本切题。有些地方表达思想不够清楚，文字勉强连贯;语言错误相当多，其中有一些是严重错误。马马虎虎
11分—切题。表达思路清楚，文字连贯，但有少量语言错误。清清楚楚
14分—切题。表达思想清楚，文字通顺，连贯性较好。基本上无语言错误，仅有个别小错。漂漂亮亮

二、阅卷实例
题目： Bicycles An Important Means of Transport in China.
提纲：
（1）为什么自行车在中国这样普与
（2）和汽车的比较
（3）自行车在中国的前途
Score: 14
Bicycles are very popular in China. Almost every family in the city has two or three bicycles. During the rush hour, you can see that thousands of people -man and woman, old and young-ride their bicycles to work and study. That is why China is called "the kingdom of bicycles."

Compared with cars, bicycles are superior in many ways. First, they are cheap, convenient and easy to ride. Second, riding bicycle is good for health. Third, they bring no noise nor air pollution. Though cars are faster and more comfortable, they are too expensive. They consume plenty of oil and they pollute the air. Sometimes, it is difficult for a driver to park his car. Moreover they often cause traffic jams and accidents.

In my opinion, the future of bicycle is very promising. Since China is a developing country and has a large population, I think, riding bicycle is appropriate to Chinese present conditions. It will be an important means of transportation for quite a long time.

Score: 11

There millions of bicycles in today's China. Bicycles are very important means of transport in people's daily lives. Because to ride a bicycle is very simple, to buy a bicycle will not cost so much money, to park a bicycle needs just a small room and to ride a bicycle does not need oil but the rider's strength, biycles are popular all over the world, especially in China.

Compared with a car, a bicycle is much cheaper. It is more suitable for China as a developing country. And a bicycle has almost caused no pollution but a car has. On the countary, a bicycle is too slow, it costs more times than a car.

I think the population of China's bicycle will be kept for the long run. Becuse it will be replaced by a car, a bus and so on in some developed areas in China, and it will be made a wide use in the developing areas in China, the number of bicycles in China will be the same as today but I believe that it's quality will be improved.
Score:8
Bicycle is an important means of transport in China. The important reason of it is the economy of Chinese. The use of bicycle in China is widely because people in China have not high wage. They can only afford a bicycle, and they have no money to buy a car which is too expensive. So Chinese usually buy a bicycle, and use it to go to work, or go to travel and so on. The other reason is the large population of China. All these made the bicycle become the important means of transport.
The bicycle, compared to the car, is not too expensive and it is easy to learn and to use and it can save the surface of putting it. It doesn't ask to build the garage like car. This point is very important to China, because of the lack of land. It isn't too expensive, so Chinese can afford it. It doesn't need any oil, and it can't cause the polusion. All of these are the good needs compared to the car.
In the future, bicycle will be widely used. And it will be in good demand. People will produce much more modern bicycles.

Score:5

Perhaps the amount of bicycle in China is the largest in the world. Why was it so widely used in China? I thought the answer was: the population in China is too large and the price of bicycle is much cheaper. The third answer is that the bicycle is easier in using than other transportations.
Comparing with the car, the bicycle is cheaper and it is easier in using than the car, but its speed is lower than that of the car.
The bicycle will be remained for a long time in China but in the end it will be disappeared with the improval of people's living level.

Score:2

As every body know, China a big developing country. So, the living standard of people not very high at present people's income is not enough for they to buy cars motorcycles. And bike is easy to ride. Bicycle is cheaper be made. And I think bicycle the useful tool of transport in China now. So, it is quite porpular and wildly used in China's cities and country sides than the personal transportation — tool.
Bike is a kind of clean tools of transport. It not use gas and other energers. For this reason is not creat polution. But in fact in any way Bicycle is not advanced than car. If it is raining, the rider will suffer from wet, on the other hand, bike can not carry much goods.
According to the our country's developing rate, I firmly believe that Bicycle will replaced by car or motorcycle in that nearly future. But undoubtfully it continue the important means of transport in China for a long time.
三、作文快速批阅办法
2分—条理不清，思路紊乱，语言支离破碎或大部分句子均有错误，且多数为严重错误。一塌糊涂--------词语堆砌，不成句
5分—基本切题。表达思路不清楚，连贯性差。有较多的严重语言错误。糊里糊涂-------句子基本结构存在，但是较多严重错误（无主语，形容词，动词做主语，无谓语，非谓语动词做谓语，动词+动词（like read），无词性和句子成分概念）
8分—基本切题。有些地方表达思想不够清楚，文字勉强连贯;语言错误相当多，其中有一些是严重错误。马马虎虎--------句子结构存在，句义较清楚，但词汇简单，句式简单。
11分—切题。表达思路清楚，文字连贯，但有少量语言错误。清清楚楚-----------语言表达清楚，能够使用非谓语动词，复合句等进行表达，词汇比较高级，句式相对复杂，但存在一点词汇使用不是十分恰当情况，或一些小错误。
14分—切题。表达思想清楚，文字通顺，连贯性较好。基本上无语言错误，仅有个别小错。漂漂亮亮-------表达清楚，结构合理，词汇高级，句式复杂，语言地道。
四、作文得分要略
得分要点：语篇结构---思路清晰、结构合理、结合主题
语言表达---词汇高级、短语汇集、句式复杂、表达多变（词汇和句式）、灵活运用
得分要略：语篇结构---------解决写作思路问题
语言表达---------解决词汇和句子问题
五、四级作文辅导教学
近六次作文：
情境话题式作文：
2014.12大学最难忘的课
2014.6 带朋友去哪里玩
图表式作文：
2013.12 图画---看手机过马路
2013.06图画---学习基本技能的重要性
2012.12图表---学位高低与收入的关系
2016.06与之前；提纲式作文（三条或两条汉语提要）
作文趋势：情境话题式或图表式作文，书信，演讲、竞选稿等亦有可能，无模板可以套用。
得分要略与对应写作教学：
（一）语篇结构---------解决写作思路问题
（二）语言表达---------解决词汇和句子问题
语篇结构与写作思路：
三段式写作：
第一段（2-3句，introduction，直奔主题并点题）----第二段（6-7句，analysis and discussion，分析与讨论）----第三段（3-4句，conclusion and expectation，总结与展望）
图表式作文：社会现象和社会问题两种类型
图表作文（社会现象）：
第一段：第一句话描述图表，第二句话评论图片并点题
第二段：主题句+分析社会现象存在的三个方面
第三段：总结该社会现象并提出如何对待这种社会现象。
图表作文（社会问题）：
第一段：第一句话描述图表，第二句话评论图片并点题
第二段：主题句+分析社会问题带来的影响
第三段：总结该社会问题带来的影响并提出如何解决该问题。
情景话题式作文：
第一段：情景描述+点题
第二段：话题阐述并分析
第三段：话题总结并展望
语言表达：
作文语言优秀标准：1.主语从句或定语从句2.倒装句或被动句3.高级词汇（闪光点词汇）4.复杂句式和固定句型5.非谓语动词6.固定短语
四级作文教学：
布置题目----分析题目----确定思路----写作----错误分析并改正（补充资料：四级作文常见错误分析）----语言优化（补充资料：闪光点词汇）-----提交批改网-----根据批改意见修改并提交----重复修改与提交-----日期截至并下载统计资料。

How to Make Air Cleaner
Given is a stimulating but thought-provoking cartoon, in which the buildings are coughing and wearing masks resisting contaminated air tightly sieged them. Apparently, the picture ironically demonstrates a fact that the air contamination does pose a severe threat to our environment and daily life.
As is well-known to all, vehicle exhaust and exhaust emissions are gradually mounting with a boom of economy and industry. And the air pollution exerts a negative influence on our daily life, which has given rise to economical loss and is harmful to our health. Therefore, it is indispensable that the various walks of life take diverse steps to control it. To start with, the factories are supposed to take advantage of advanced technology to reduce exhaust emissions as soon as possible. What is more, environmental protection of transportation like bus and subway should be chosen to protect our environment from the individual aspect.
In conclusion, confronted with such circumstances, we not only take measures to protect us from damaging, but also bend every effort on minimizing exhaust emissions by taking effective methodology. Only in this way, can we own increasingly appropriate environment.

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